Artsy stuff

It's so hard to find time to write! Baby girl barely naps, and she won't sleep until late so by that time, I just want to crawl into my bed and sleep!
I wish I could hook up a contraption to my brain that would type out my thoughts though, because I have a ton of time to think about what I'm going to write, just no time to sit down and do it. I'm also going back to work in a few weeks, so I'll have even less time.

Anyway, I'm still working on the meal delivery comparison - I have all of two sentences written! I'm debating about the format. I was hoping to do one long blog comparing everything, but I think I'll have to break it down into a few shorter blogs with a nice little chart at the end summing it all up. We shall see. But, that's not what today's post is about! Nope, today I'm here to talk about a failed art experiment with baby girl.

I saw this on Pinterest (https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/357051076704712105/)  and thought it was cute. I pinned it and forgot about it, as I do with most things on those boards. Anyway, while looking for something else, this pin popped back up and I thought it might be fun to try. I dissuaded myself a few times, and in all fairness, I told myself that it would just be a disaster. But, I couldn't stop thinking about it, and the potentially cute result. Also, nothing is keeping baby girl happy today, and mommy is tired, so I thought this would buy me 5 minutes.

 Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Okay, it wasn't a complete disaster like there was paint everywhere (just a little here and there....) But it definitely wasn't a success. I hadn't planned on her deciding to rip the plastic wrap off instead of smooshing it around with the paint. I hadn't planned on her trying to eat it, although I really should have because she puts everything in her mouth. Anyway, this was a stressful five minutes and the results are.... mediocre. I think this activity is made for a calm baby, which is definitely not the definition of this sassy girl!

Anyway, here are a few pictures to accompany the story. Stay tuned, cause I'll be using her masterpieces to letter on.

So, it's been another year...

Hahahaha, my last post on this blog was last year! And I only wrote one post last year! Perhaps I thought that when I'd be on maternity leave, I'd have time to blog! I would have a ton of material, to be honest, but absolutely no energy or will. And, admittedly, since not many people read this blog I guess I was inspired to continue with it. However, I do feel like I might get back into it, at least writing more than ONE blog in 2019. 

Today's post won't be long, but I WILL be back. 

I recently tried out a bunch of different weekly meal kit plans and I want to write a comprehensive comparison of them all. So far, we've tried Goodfood, Chefs Plate and Hello Fresh. We still plan on trying one more company called Miss Fresh. 

In the coming weeks, I'll blog about the differences, similarities and ultimately which one we prefer and why. So, stay tuned for that! Drop a comment below if you read this and are looking forward to upcoming posts! I hope to start writing about adventures with Baby Girl, as well as some of my more artsy stuff again. 

Until next time... hopefully before January 2020!

So, it's been a year...

Ha!

Hello!

So, it's been almost an entire year since my last post. There's no reason, honestly, other than to say I wasn't really willing to put in the necessary time and effort to keep up a blog. I still may not be... who knows. However, it's the 4th day in a row that I am awake at an unreasonable hour, frustrated beyond belief and on the verge of tears and I thought to myself : "Hey, go write a blog post!"

First things first, I no longer participate in Project 365, taking pictures every day. As a perfectionist, I put too much pressure on myself to find the perfect shot for a prompt and mostly ended up disappointed, or stressed, or both. A hobby should not cause that much stress. So, I moved on to different things : calligraphy and lettering. 365 days of it. Ha!

No but seriously, I've gotten into lettering and I tried to do it religiously every day, but, again, that's not my forte. So I usually end up playing catch up, but I enjoy it and letter the prompts when I legitimately feel like it.

In other news, I'm pregnant! I can't recall if I talked about pregnancy and trying to get pregnant in any previous posts. I'll have to check back. In any case, after a year and a half of trying to get pregnant and even going through fertility treatments, we're having a baby! I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant which translates to 5 and a half months. Let me be real with you : they have been the SHITTIEST five months of my life. Don't get me wrong, I'm so, so happy to be having a baby. Hubby and I are SO excited. But I am not enjoying being pregnant, at all.

To everyone who says pregnancy is amazing : please, go fuck yourself. No really, unless you has a miracle pregnancy. Almost NO ONE talks about how shitty being pregnant is, so you feel alone. But then, when you start talking about how you're feeling, you find out almost EVERYONE feels the same. What the hell? Why are we so ashamed to say we feel like shit and we are emotional roller coasters during pregnancy?

Here's a bit of truth for you, in bullet form:

- I have been nauseous for 5 months. I used to barf every day, morning/afternoon/night, now I barf every couple of days, sometimes it comes with no warning; those days are fun. There are days where I am nauseous the entire time I am awake, other days it's just a wave of nausea that comes out of nowhere.

- I barely sleep, and I can't function. I sleep for a few hours at a time if that. I'm up CONSTANTLY either to go to the washroom, or because my brain has decided that's it, or my body aches from laying down, or baby doesn't like the position I'm in, or, or, or... the reasons are endless. Bottom line : I'm exhausted and baby isn't even here yet.

- People will give you all sorts of USELESS advice... if I can give you one piece of (not-so-useless) advice it's to ignore people's advice.By all means, you can sit there and listen to what they have to say, but in the end, you do you. Because every single pregnancy is different and although people can sometimes relate, no one knows exactly how you are feeling. And beware: women who had easy/fun/enjoyable pregnancies will NOT BELIEVE YOU. They will assume that you are exaggerating how you feel. Tell them to go away. Simple as that.

I'll end this post here because... well it's getting long. I would say hopefully I'll be posting again soon, but no promises. However, I do have plenty of pregnancy woes that could be hilarious... maybe I'll start this up again.

Until next time!

Always catching up....

Well, the writing hasn't been going so well. But it's okay. I've been trying to keep up with the photos and then when I get around to posting them on the blog it gives me an opportunity to write. So, here we go!

Photo Prompts January 12th to 28th

Day 12: Icy Bokeh

I admit, I had to look up the word "bokeh" because I had absolutely no idea what it meant. Anyway, I visited the Chihuly exhibition at the Royal Ontario Museum and this seemed perfect for the prompt. I did however use an app to add the bokeh. I really enjoy how this turned out.






Day 13 : Currently Loving





So, my dog loves stuffed toys. A lot. She plays with them, she chews on them, she sleeps with them, and she even does the dirty with them (yes, i'm serious). Anyway, she got this one at Christmas but we had put it away cause she had another one. Finally we pulled this one out. She looks super cute and loving in the first picture. Unfortunately, 24 hours later she savagely had chewed its face off.

Day 14: Inviting

These are my slippers. On a cold wintry day they are very inviting, super cozy and warm.








Day 15: Now

My wonderfully talented cousin made this pillow cover for my husband and I. I chose it for the prompt because before I was Ms. Portelance and now I am Mrs. Fernandes.

Day 16: Quiet




School starts at 9 am. Most people arrive between 8:30 and 8:45. I like to show up at 7:30. Yes, it's early. And yes, some days I decide to sleep in a bit longer. But I like to get there early because its quiet and I can focus. I can catch up on some of my work and I am alone. As soon as people start arriving the hustle and bustle of a regular day starts and I no longer feel calm and relaxed.

Day 17: Bubbles

Day 18: Chosen

                                                              I got these chocolates as a Christmas gift from one of my students' parents. I didn't touch them because I thought it was so cool and so nice and I just wanted to admire the chocolates and the packaging. However, I bit the bullet on this day and picked out the chocolate from Ecuador. I picked it because my mom has a friend from Ecuador and it seemed like an appropriate place to start. Let me just say that these are some of the most delicious dark chocolates I have ever, ever eaten. Fingers crossed that I get more of these some day soon, as they aren't available in Canada. 

Day 19: Chilly

Day 20: Neighbourhood

This is a repost from earlier in the summer when I would walk my dog in the neighbourhood early in the morning. 

Day 21: Winter Berries

I got really lucky with this picture. I was walking on the Danforth with my mom after we got our nails done and I happened to spot these decorative pots that had been up for Christmas. Thankfully no one took them away and some of them still had berries in them! I'm glad I was able to capture this, otherwise I would have had to gotten more creative.

Day 23 to 26

Top Left : Action (January 23)
One of my students writing a sign to help us remember what goes in the recyling bin.

Top Right : Open (January 24)
My tangerine is open.

Bottom Left: What I'm Eating (January 25)
A handful of almonds. Yum, yum yum.

Bottoms Right : Spontaneous
(January 26)
Coloured rice in my classroom's sensory bin.

Day 27 : Dried Flowers

Day 28 : Fortune

This is my "piggy" bank, which is actually a hippo. Small change can add up to a small fortune with time. 

That's it! I truly hope to get back to writing a bit more this week and to keep up with photos and blogging so that I don't have to spend this time catching up! Please leave comments below if you enjoyed any of these pictures or have any questions or comments!

Happy Sunday everyone! 

Avoiding More Important Things....

The best time to blog is when you're supposed to be doing something else!

I have fallen way behind on all my challenges this month, but it's okay. I'm not stressed about it. I think when this happens I will just take the time to catch up on weekends. That being said, I did participate in most of the photo challenges on Instagram, I just din't get around to blogging about it. I also wrote a bit in my journal, not every day but a couple of days, and again, just didn't get around to posting it. Sometimes I write things that I'm not ready to share with the world yet either, so I just keep those ones to myself. 

Let's start with the Photos! I'm only up to Jan 11th, will finish the rest today!

Photos Prompts from January 8th to 11th 

January Eighth: Get in the Picture

It's not very original, I know.... it was a last minute photo. It was also a moment of self love, so i'll take it!

January Ninth: Game

I'm not entirely sure if this qualifies as a game. I bought this a while back for a plane ride and... never touched it again. 

January Tenth: Print

One of my favourite photos so far this month. I'm not sure what it is really, perhaps that it's back and white, perhaps that it's "fresh off the press", maybe it's the elegant writing, or even just what this "print" symbolizes to me. Anyway, I'm proud of this picture. 

January Eleventh: Steaming

Alright, so this is more "steamy" and less "steaming". I tried to capture steam coming out of my electric kettle but it wasn't going so well. Anyway, that's when I hear hubby in the shower and I know he likes to take super hot showers. So, I closed the door, let the washroom steam up and then captured this shot :)

Writing Prompts from Jan 8th to 11th

The writing prompts haven't been going well to be honest. However, I do have a small amount or writing that accompanies my photos, so in my opinion that counts. That being said, I did get to jot a few things down this week that I'll share with you. 

January Ninth: Back to School [insert terrified emoji here]

Today was a good day. I might even say a great day! I have gotten into a pretty terrible habit of waking up feeling sad, anxious and all around miserable, getting through my day and then coming home ever sadder, usually angry and just wanting to shut off the world. However, today was not like that - not at all. 

Today I started with a new Early Childhood Educator who is absolutely amazing. She went beyond my expectations and made me breathe a sigh of relief knowing that if things continue this way the second part of the school year will be so much better than the first part I just suffered through. As if that wasn't enough, I went from a class of 30 kids to a class of 26 kids. For those of who not in the know: this makes a HUGE difference. Things ran pretty smoothly. As if that wasn't enough, I came home in a good mood, not feeling the least bit sad or angry and I walked in to my husband preparing dinner for us which was just icing on the cake. Today was a good day. 

January Tenth: 32 flavours

How am I to pick a single ice cream flavour to enjoy for the rest of my life? This writing prompt was almost torturous.  I ended up being stuck between Mint Chocolate Chip and Pistachio. I am in love with both of those flavours and would be so, so sad if one of them was no longer available. What is your opinion? What flavour can't you live without?

January Eleventh : Elevator Silence

Since moving in to this building five years ago, the elevator has given me anxiety for the sole reason of socializing. Is there elevator etiquette? I usually say hello to people and that's that. This afternoon, I climbed up a flight of stairs before taking the elevator. When the elevator doors opened there was a man inside heading to the 17th floor. I got in, said a soft hello, and promptly pushed 18. Then : complete silence. That's when I started feeling self conscious of my breathing - am I breathing too loud from walking up the stairs? Should I talk about the weather to take focus off my breathing? God, 17 floors is so so long! Maybe I should take one long deep breath... or maybe that's even weirder. Can the 17th floor just get here????? Lesson? There is none. Mostly : who cares. Keep saying hello and get on with life. :)

Eureka! Inspired!

Following the great advice of a friend (you know who you are, and thank you infinitely) and listening to her supportive words, I have decided that I will write when inspired and not force myself to write when I am not. As soon as I let myself be okay with that, I read down the prompts list. I found a topic that I could easily write about. So, we're back on. 

January Seventh - Teacher's Pet

This is more the story of a Not-So Teacher's Pet. Back in grade 3, I had a teacher, let's call her Mrs.Y, who was not very kind. For some reason or another, she was especially unkind to me. The sort of insensitive person who would say cruel things in a kind voice. I have never, ever forgotten this teacher, and I have vowed, as a teacher to always be careful what I say.
I won't say that my insecurities necessarily stem from her, but the two worst comments she ever made to me were about my weight and about my artistic capacities, both of which are things that fuel my low self confidence. 

One day, after summer break, I went back to school to find out that I had Mrs.Y this year. I had her before, when I was younger, and I don't especially remember anything too terrible. However, upon coming back to school in grade 3, she greeted us at the door of our old rotting portable class room. The typical "welcome back", "glad to see you" and "my have you grown" was heard as the students filed into class. When I placed my foot onto the first step, she smiled widely and said: "Bonjour Chantou, que tu as grossi!". Now, for those who don't speak French, the verb GROSSIR is to grow, but more precisely to get fatter. I felt completely humiliated and deflated. What a wonderful first day back. 

Throughout the year, she continued to call me Chantou, despite me reminding her and telling her angrily at times that my name isn't Chantou but in fact Chantal. I still, to this day, do not know why she chose to call me that. 

About halfway through the year, we had an art assignment. I don't remember the exact details but it had something to do with a self portrait. Now, I am by far not the best artist and my drawing capacities aren't great. However, in grade 3 I wasn't necessarily applying to art school. The day, as we sat at our desks working, Mrs. Y strolled through the aisles inspecting our work. She would walk by the desks and pass comments. "Oh wow, you are definitely a better artist than me!" she would say to one or two students. She walked by my best friend and said: " Oh... you're about just as bad as I am." I remember thinking that was awfully rude and I felt bad for my friend. I figured we'd talk about it at recess. A few steps further and she was next to me. I remember feeling anxious, hoping she wouldn't say anything at all. Nothing is better than anything degrading. Unfortunately, my wishes were ignored that say as she opened her mouth and said, in French of course: "Wow, you are much worse at drawing than me!". I didn't even know how to react. I just felt sad. What else could I do anyway? 

There's no easy way to end this little story except to say that I was so, so glad when that year was over and crossed my fingers that I would never have to be in her class again. That final wish was indeed answered. 

Playing Catch Up - January Fifth, Sixth & Seventh

Just posting pictures for now because I haven't been able to get in to the writing part much. Hopefully inspiration hits soon. 

January 5th Photo Prompt: Smile

Spotted a smile while working on my cross stitch. 

January 6th Photo Prompt: Where I Stand

Barefoot on a concrete balcony while it's freezing cold outside. I somehow liked the contrast of painted toes and dirty old concrete. 

January 7th Photo Prompt: Minty White

Delicious mint hot chocolate. Perfect for a chilly winter day. 

Hopefully I'll be back soon with some creative writing. Have a lovely weekend!

January Fourth - Quote Me

Writing Prompt: Quote Me

Considering the mixed feelings about my job and the ups and downs (well, mostly downs if I'm honest) that I had last year, this quote seemed appropriate. 

"Sadness, tears, challenges, fears - yes, teaching is filled with all of these - yet it is understandably also filled with laughter and smiles, hope, dreams and rewards beyond measure."

Photo Challenge : Overlooked 

Struggled to find an idea for this one - thanks to my brother for his ideas, I was able to find a photo to post. 

Until tomorrow!

January Third - Outside the Window

Writing Prompt: Outside the Window

It's 5 in the morning. I stare out the window on the 18th floor of my building. I can see for a couple of blocks in each direction. Not that there's much to see. The streets are quiet, one or two cars every few minutes. The light from the lamposts glistens on the slick roads. It has been raining and it doesn't look to be letting up. The fog is rolling in making it difficult to see much. 
Most homes are dark, everyone still asleep. I wonder about the apartments with lights on; is someone getting ready for work? Perhaps they are just getting home? Maybe they simply can't sleep, like me, minds full of thoughts, ideas, worries. Who knows, perhaps they are even observing and wondering about the lights coming from my apartment. 

Photo Challenge: Contemplate

 I have been thinking about trying to paint for a while now. Perhaps I will be inspired to pick up a paintbrush and experiment soon. 

January Second - Resolved

Writing Prompt : Resolved

I can't recall a single time that I have stuck to my New Years Resolution for an entire year. Upon reflection, I ask myself - you decided that resolutions had to be for the whole year? We put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to stick to a (usually) unattainable goal. Why tell yourself you're going to go to the gym every weekday if you have never done it before and gym's just aren't your thing? Why decided to stop drinking alcohol or coffee or pop if you drink those every day? We pick these goals that we think are ideal but really, we are setting ourselves up for failure and disappointment. 

So, what's different this year? No resolutions at all? No. I have a few, but they are attainable, reasonable and vague. I am setting myself up for success. I have resolved to be nicer to myself than I have in past years. Does it mean I have to be nice to myself for 365 days? No. I can't be disappointed in myself or have "bad" days? No. I am just determined to be nicer to myself more often than I was in 2016. I will not let myself fall as low as I did last year. I will take care of myself, be a better me than months before, I will strive to love myself just a little bit more than I did before. This is an attainable goal, and I will reach it. 

Photo Challenge: One Word

I wasn't too sure how to approach this subject - do I pick a word and take a picture that represents it or do I take a picture of a word? I decided to snap this: the cover of my writing prompt book; a word that represents something that makes me happy; a character from a series of books I love. It all seemed appropriate. 

Enjoy, check back tomorrow!

January First - Stroke of Midnight

Photo Challenge : Happy New Year!

Writing Prompt: Stroke of Midnight

Last night, as 2016 turned in to 2017 at the stroke of midnight, there is no other place where I would have rather been. I was at a small party with my husband. Our very first New Year's celebration as husband and wife. With us were great friends, the hosts, who are getting married in 2017, it seems appropriate. Lastly there were a few other people, an interesting mix to say the least; a fun and friendly group of people. My thought as I left for the night : I have not laughed that much in a very, very long time.

Cheers to the New Year😊

IT'S 2017!

Good morning everyone,

A quick post to say HELLO! I've not been blogging because... well it's not been a good few month. However, I'm back, and I have a plan!

Today, I start 365 days of writing prompts and 365 days of photos!

Stay tuned for entry #1!

Happy New Year!

Super Saturday!

Well, I'm in a great mood at the moment.. why? Because I got my ass back to kickboxing! And I got my ass kicked! And it felt great! 

I haven't been kickboxing in over a month, which is what this post will be about, but damn it felt good to be back! I know I will be sore tomorrow, and I honestly felt like I was back to Day 1, but this is the push that I needed. 
So, what is this all about? Let's start at the beginning...

I believe I mentioned before that I was on a sick leave from work last school year. In all, I didn't work for 6 months. Most people would LOVE that amount of time off, and I admit I was very thankful to be able to take the time to work on myself while still getting paid. So, in that time I went through a lot of stuff, I started weekly psychotherapy, I got married, I went on an amazing Honeymoon to Portugal, I started medication to treat depression and anxiety, I started a workbook called Mind Over Mood and I was pretty much going kickboxing daily or at least 4 times a week. I was very up and down about life and how things were going and working on my perception of things and so on. But there was one constant : get up in the morning and go kickboxing. Part of what kept me going there is the amazing owner and instructor Tracey - she is definitely the push you need sometimes and she's there for you, good or bad. I also made a friend there and we were encouraging each other to go. And one more friend was encouraging a lot to come to the intermediate classes. I say it now, and I will say it many times over, I am truly thankful for those people in my life. 
Everything seems pretty great up until now. So, what happened? Well, I went back to work, that's what happened. I won't explain the whole going back to work process, that's for another day. Now, for anyone who hasn't gone through something like this, it's very, very difficult to see my perspective of things and it's very, very easy to make hurtful, uniformed, biased comments based on your own perception of the situation. To an outsider, I might seem to be lazy, a complainer, negative, inactive, someone who finds excuses for everything, malcontent; the list goes on. I don't think that I can properly explain the feelings I go through everyday, and I won't attempt to. However,  I will paint you a clear image of my day:

After struggling to get a good night sleep, I wake up. My first thought it is a positive one: "You CAN do this Chantal. Today is a new day. Today will be better than yesterday." I struggle to hold on to that thought so that I can get myself out of bed. I brew a pot of coffee and while I wait for it to be done, I start to put my costume on. I call it a costume because as I dress, I start to feel my disguise coming together. The teacher ensemble that gets me through the day. As I drink my first cup of coffee, I start to do my makeup. I call it my warrior paint. I layer on the face that I'm going to try to wear all day. When I'm done, I feel like I am ready to face my spectators : my students, my principal, the parents, my co-workers, and anyone else who crosses my path today. Before I walk into the building, I take a deep breath, or two. I am ready. I can do this. 
I usually start my day off pretty well, not always, but usually. Throughout the day I continuously check myself. Sometimes I take an extra bathroom break so that I can remove my disguise for a few minutes, stop the show just for a few seconds. But I quickly get back into character and get back out there. The entire day is like this, keeping up appearances. And then, at 4 o'clock (if i'm lucky) usually mostly around 5, I finally crumble. There is nothing left in me to keep going. I walk in and today's performance is over. I don't relax though, I don't feel good, I have nothing left in me. My husband sees it, and I feel terrible about it. Everyone else gets the best of me, and he's left with the broken pieces at the end of the day. I sometimes manage to make dinner, sometimes I don't. I can't get myself to kickboxing. Definitely not. And then, it's another sleepless night until the show starts again tomorrow. 

I understand to an outsider this description might seem dramatic. It's okay for you to see it that way. It's okay for you to not understand. It's okay. 

So, all of that to say - I stopped kickboxing. I didn't have it in me to go. I didn't have it in me to face anyone else. I didn't have the energy to punch, or kick, or scream at a bag. I had nothing left to give. I decided that I would take the month of October off. Try to figure something out to make it all work. This way, I stopped beating myself up for not going. My therapist would say : "You took it off your to-do list for this month." When something is off your list, you're not allowed to beat yourself up for not doing it. So that's what I did. 

Well, now it's November, and kickboxing is back on my list. I had planned to go back on November 1st, but it didn't happen. It's okay. Today is November 5th. I woke up, I didn't put any warrior paint on and I got my ass there. I worked hard, I struggled, I swore, I wanted to give up, but I didn't. I did the whole hour, and I loved every minute of it. And at the end of it all, I was reminded of how much I NEED that place. How much I LOVE kickboxing. How much I APPRECIATE the people there. I realized that I OWE it to MYSELF to go kickboxing as often as I can. There's no need for a painted face, a spectacle, an act when I'm there. I can show up crumbled and broken and there will always be someone there to help you get through it, to help put you back together again. Afterwards, I can head home and my husband gets a whole person, not fragmented pieces of me, but all of me. 
I feel good, I feel energized, I feel happy. Here's to a new month and to getting back on track. 

Have a lovely weekend readers!

xo

A Few Anecdotes

Student: "Madame, can you call my mom pleaseandthankyou?" (Please and Thank you are one word for this kid)

Me:"How come?"

Student:" Because I have to poo."

Me: "Ok.... but why not just use the washroom at school?"

Student: "Because there's no toilet seats."

Me:"What, what do you mean there are no toilet seats?"

Student: "There's no seat. It's gonna hurt me."

Me: " No, no. There are toilet seats."

Student: " Mommy had my Lightning McQueen toilet seat!"

Me: " Okay, but we can't call mommy every time you have to poo to bring your toilet seat. We have toilets with seats at school, you can use those."

Student: " Bu there's no seat! I'll show you." *Point to the urinal*

Me:" You're right, that has no seat. But that's not where you poo. You poo in the stall, those toilets have seats."

Student: " But it's going to hurt me."

Me: Completely confused.
".... I'm done."



Today, as every Wednesday, I went to my Psych appointment. After talking about what's going on and
To which I replied, "no... not really. I probably should."
my feelings and why my job is really not working for me, my doctor said: " I'm going to ask you a strange question coming from a doctor... but do you drink?"
To which she then said, "You know, sometimes when you have a glass of wine to look forward to at the end of the day it can change your perspective on things."
"Are you telling me to drink my problems away?"
"Not exactly, but a drink or two to relax wouldn't hurt!"


Wise, wise words.... as I sip my bailey's & hot chocolate...

SIA : A Review... kind of

Hello all!

Well, I've had one hell of a week. I was very sick - basically paralyzingly (is that a word?!) sick. Anyway, this post is not about THAT. This post is about the Sia Concert that I went to last night! And in fact, it's more about the people at the concert than the concert itself. Let me explain. 

The concert was great. I wasn't a huge fan of the opening act (Miguel), it's just not my kind of music. I also wasn't a fan of the long, long pauses between the start of the concert and between Miguel and Sia coming on. It kind of killed the vibe. Anyway, for anyone who knows Sia, this is not the kind of concert where you expect to see frills and a crazy show. No. Sia stands in a corner, hidden under her signature wig with a giant bow on her head and she belts out her wonderful songs. The stage is left for the performers who deliver strange, sometimes incomprehensible to me, interpretations of the songs. My husband said it best : "This was a theatrical performance to the songs of Sia." And I am definitely not saying this in a negative way at all, it was great. Very interesting, and she sounded amazing, as I knew she would. 

Now, on to what this post is REALLY about. It's the people who attended the concert. I am going to make a social commentary on our use of phones. I admit, I am on my phone a lot and I use if often and sometimes I have to force myself to just put the damn things down. The way people use their phones, reminds me of when I first got my SLR Camera. I stopped enjoying things because I just wanted to capture it all. Capture the best picture. I would miss the whole night of fireworks trying to get a few good shots of those colourful lights in the sky. I eventually started planning specific events for photo taking and leaving my camera at home other times. The problem now is, our phones are always with us. And look at the photo attached to this post - we went to dinner before the concert and I took photos of our food and the menu. I am not above this whole phone phase, and I'm not trying to pretend that I am. However, I did start to get very frustrated with people yesterday, and then especially upset with the person next to me. Here's why...

Before the concert started, and between Miguel's set and Sia coming on, everyone was on their phone! All you saw around the Air Canada Centre was phone screens. Instead of chatting with the person you came to the concert with, people were playing game son their phones to pass the time. Fine, in itself perhaps that isn't so bad, but there are 2 specific moments where I lost it. 
First, as soon as Sia came on stage, the girl next to me proceeded to open her phone to google the concert set list. Why? Why do you NEED to know which songs are coming up? If you like her music, if you are a fan, if you paid to come see her, why do you need to know in advance? Just sit back and enjoy the show, enjoy the surprise of not knowing exactly which songs she will perform and in which order. And please, don't ruin it for me, the person sitting next to you who is constantly being blinded and distracted by your phone screen. You are impeding on my enjoyment of the show. 
Second moment is those people who want to capture EVERYTHING on their phone to share it with friends. So desperately that you miss the concert because you are trying to get the perfect (non-blurry, non distorted, not too bright but not too dark) picture to share on social media. You want to take a picture here and there, fine, those are good memories. But tinkering on your phone for the entire concert trying to get pictures and sound clips and blocking my view because you want a better angle and all in all ruining my experience of the show - that's not fine. I'm not okay with that. 

We need to remember to enjoy things in the moment. Not everything is meant to be captured on screen, and I saw that with difficulty because I am one of those people who tries to capture a lot on camera and on my phone. But there are times when we need to just put it down and enjoy the experience. 

Happy Sunday everyone ❣

I'm Back?

Hello readers!

So, I've been away for a while. Not on vacation or anything, but mentally away. Let me explain, the transition to going back to work has been a mega challenge. In some aspects I'm doing alright, such as getting back into the work routine and actually getting through the day. In other ways, I'm doing terribly, such as cooking dinner after work, making sure the apartment is tidy, working out and so on.

I was feeling really down about everything, and I guess I still am, but I'm trying not to let it get to me. My therapist acknowledged that it's hard to have 2 working people and to keep up a household. Yes, some people manage it, and no, I don't even have kids yet, but she's letting me know that just because I think everyone else seems to have it together, that's not always the case. It's normal to be struggling with juggling so many things in life. That comforts me. Although it doesn't fix anything, it lets me know that I'm not failing where the rest of the world is succeeding.

I'm using this blog a bit like a journal, to share some inner thoughts, frustrations and anecdotes from time to time. I would also like to start sharing some stuff I wrote in the past in order to get opinions and to help me start writing again. Not today though, I'm asking too much of myself, haha. I'm also still trying to figure out what I want this blog to be about and what direction I want to go in so that readers can enjoy it. Any suggestions are welcome!

Since I find it comforting to find out that I'm not abnormal or a failure when I think I am, I'd like to share a few thoughts in the hopes that someone else reading this will know that they are doing well also, even if they don't feel like they are!

Did you know:

- Apparently only around 30% of women get pregnant within the first month of trying. It bumps up to 60% after 3 months of trying, around 80% after 6 months and around 90% within a year. Now, if you don't know this, you can understand why after 2 months of trying a girl might feel inadequate or as if something is wrong. And then there's people getting pregnant "by accident" all around you, it's frustrating.

- Loosing weight is more about what you eat than how much you exercise? I need to be better about my food choices - part of me being "mentally absent" has unfortunately led to me ordering out more than cooking. This week I have a plan though!
Tuesday: Veggie Burrito Bowl
Wednesday: Lasagna leftover
Thursday: Chicken with potatoes and asparagus
Friday: Homemade tomato sauce and spaghetti.
I know if I sit down and take the time to plan, I usually stick to it. That's my goal going forward. Make a plan and stick to it! I did however put my kickboxing membership on hold just until I get life back on track. Hopefully that's soon!

I would like to blog another 2 times this week, so I'm hoping to get to that. I'm also thinking of starting a second blog dedicated solely to teaching stuff. Thoughts on that?

Goodnight everyone! I thoroughly enjoyed my extra day off, but it's back to the grind tomorrow. Have a great week!

Laugh or cry?

Okay, I could write a super long post about how everything went terribly wrong today and how I ended up crying in the principal's office. Instead, I choose to write a very short anecdote that made me laugh more than I should have today.


In the afternoon, I do "calm" games, such as puzzles, drawing, play dough, colouring, letter work and so on. Anyway, one of my students, let's call him Kermit, decided that he would colour. I wish I had taken a picture because it would add the extra "oompf" to this story.

Kermit came to me with a cute alien drawing coloured entirely in black. He had a giant black blob on his paper.

Kermit: Madame, I'm finished!

Me: Oh, that looks great! Did you want to add some colour?

Kermit: No, I already coloured it.... *looks at me with a very confused look on his face*

Me: Okay, great! You did a good job of trying to stay in the lines!

Kermit: It's for Mommy!

Me: Alright, go put it in your school bag.

Kermit: No no no, it has to stay at school!

Me: Well then how is Mommy going to get it?

Kermit: *looks at me as if this is the most obvious thing ever* It can't go home today because Mommy has to earn this picture.

Me: Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.




Goodnight.

Kindergarten, also known as the army, or the zoo.

Hello readers.

... what a week. Thank the stars tomorrow is Friday. And it's payday.

I have to admit, the adjustment to going back to work, as well as going back to kindergarten, and then being faced with a bunch of wild kids has been... very difficult to say the least. Last night, I was giving up. On everything. This morning, I woke up and my attitude was : " Welcome to Mme's Army Class!"

What is the Army Class, you ask? It's where I've had enough of kids bullshit, and I am laying down the law. It's where no one moves unless I say so. It's soooooo not my personality, but that's where we're at, and that's what we need. A month or so of LAW, with very clear lines and no wiggle room, and then we can enjoy the rest of the year.

So, how did Day 1 of the army go? Honestly, not terrible. I am exhausted beyond belief because it's way harder to get through the day as an army sergeant than a police woman. That being said, I'm fairly certain you won't believe that this was a "decent" day, or you will wonder what the hell I've been dealing with the past few weeks if this passes as a normal day.

So, we started the morning with the same routine - arrive, change your shoes, take the things you need out of your bag and then you can go in class. Once in class, you sit on a chair and wait (Warning: This is NOT my usual routine, I am NEVER this "mean" with kids, but I have to be very firm with this group).
So, we are sitting and waiting. The kids are talking among each other (in English of course, because why would a French school be full of French kids??). As soon as I start talking, the law is being put down. " Madame..." SHHHH! "But.." SHH! "I have to..." SHH! Yes, this seems harsh, but bear with me.

So, I laid down the law. No, you may not take all the toys out at once. No, you may not throw toys in the class and against the windows. No, you may not walk all over the toys instead of picking them up. No, you may not TELL me to pick up YOUR mess. No, you can't say "no" to me when I ask you politely to do something. No, you can't run in the class. No, you can't bite others. No, you can't pinch the people you don't like on the cheeks. No, you can't stand there and pee on the carpet cause you feel like it. No you can't spit in people's faces. No you can't climb on chairs and tables and counters. No, you can't tell an adult that you will kick them or hurt them. NO, NO, NO.

So, after 45 minutes of this, I let them play. I must say, it seemed alright. The day as a whole, with most of the kids, was okay. However, this still happened :

- 4 kids ran away from the class and into the school yard all by themselves, for fun. (This is NOT the first time that they have done that).
- 1 kid ran around the entire class trying to hide from my ECE. She gave up on him,
- That same 1 kid, threw rocks in another kids face and when an adult intervened threw rocks in her face too.
- That same kid threw toys in my ECE's face at the end of the day.
- This same kid hid in the washroom during recess and tried to flush big sticks down the toilet.
- 1 kid decided to give herself a haircut and cut her hair with scissors while we were doing a craft.
- 1 kid was screeching for half an hour because she lost her stuffed toy (that she hid in the class and couldn't remember where).
- 2 of my kids school bags disappeared at the beginning of the day, and after hours of searching for them, mysteriously appeared at the end of the day.
- 1 kid hit another one on the head with blocks

No, that one kid who did the most has not been suspended. No, I don't work in a school for angry/aggressive kids although I often feel like I do. No, I simply have a classroom full of kids that unfortunately were left to do as they please for the last 4 to 5 years and now I have to teach them some manners.

I'm off to bed... army day #2 tomorrow.

Goodnight!

PSA - Hair Colour

Hello everyone! I'm actually posting something a day early! I'm impressed with myself . Today's post is a public service announcement about hair colour. My cousin will be happy I did this. You see, Pinterest is an amazing website FULL of ideas, and I'm on it all the time. But my cousin, and hairdressers in general, hate Pinterest because they don't come with a warning. She finds it unbelievably frustrating to meet people's expectations. Why? Because Pinterest shows you perfection. Pinterest show you the ideal. Pinterest shows you what your hair will look like as you leave the salon but not what it will look like a few days later or after the first time you wash it. So, that's why I'm here! First to give you some warnings and second to share my experiences. 

I recently dyed the bottom layer of my hair purple, as you probably saw on a previous post. I love it, it's fun and funky. However, my cousin told me if I want my colour to last, there are a few rules. First is wash your hair as few times as possible. If you can go 3 days without washing that's ideal. When I do finally shower: separate my blonde hair from the purple hair when I wash it. This sounds easy enough, but trust me, it isn't. There's always some purple in my blonde and some blonde in my purple. Secondly, wash your hair in COLD, and I mean ICE COLD, water. When you don't have a removable shower head let me just say that showering has become a very unpleasant part of my routine. Third is to use SULFATE-FREE shampoo. I've been using L'Oréal EVERPURE Sulfate-Free Color Care System. It seems to be alright but I'm not a huge fan of the smell.  So, how has all of that worked out for me? Let's do a comparison. First few images are all Day 1 in various lighting. I wish I had taken slightly better pictures for comparison value, but this is what we're stuck with. Anyway, you can see that the purple is REALLY purple and that the colour is pretty vibrant. 

The following pictures are taken from today, so 10 days after I got my hair coloured and about 4 washes/blow dries. The picture on the top right is taken in direct sunlight, which is why it has more of a pinkish hue. As you can see, the colour has faded but not as much because of using the sulfate-free shampoo, washing my hair every three days and washing in COLD water. My The purple is quite obviously not as vibrant though, and closer to the root, there is barely any colour, the reaosn being my roots are darker than the rest of my hair so the colour wasn't virant to start with. I have experimented with many hair colours in the past and I have to say that unnatural colours (blue, purple, red, pink, green...) especially "red" based colours are VERY hard to up keep. Unless your willing to put in the effort to make the colour last, I would honestly advise not to waste your money. I'm lucky because I get a nice discount seeing as my cousin is my hairdresser, but paying upwards of $200 for your colour to only last a week and a half is just ridiculous.

Purple & Pink!

Find more pictures of hair fading. I'm pretty dedicated to keeping my hair as nice as I can for as long as I can, so I always try to do the proper upkeep. The purple and pink "before" picture is from October and the after picture is from a month later. It's not bad to be honest and the fact that the colour is underneath the fading isn't such a big deal. I do remember having to be very careful when washing my hair though so that the colours wouldn't bleed in to the blonde. 



Next there are pictures of when I went from blonde to a plum red colour. I have to say that colour lasted pretty long and the only downside is when my blonde roots started showing it kind of made me look like I was going grey. Not a nice look at all! 







Okay, enough hair colour pictures!! Although when I have a bit of time I might make a colour of my hair colour through the years. I didn't realize how many different hair colours I've had!! 

Lastly, I tried a new hairstyle today and quite liked the look of it. That's the last picture that I'll post! 


If you liked this post please comment below with your thoughts! 

Until next time....